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Want to form a Right Under Club of your own? Here's some ideas and suggestions from the author, Christine Hurley Deriso.

Start Your Own Right-Under Club!

The girls in The Right-Under Club formed their group around the common bond of complicated families. But the only common bond necessary for a Right-Under Club is mutual respect and compassion. After all, everybody has problems, whether those problems stem from families, school, friends, etc. So start your own Right-Under Club. A tree house, T-shirts and problem stick are optional, but here are a few guidelines to make sure your Right-Under Club gets off on the right foot:

Membership: Don’t be snobby about deciding who can join, but make sure that every member is committed to contributing to a supportive atmosphere and that the problems discussed stay inside the clubhouse. No gossiping! Once a few core members are part of the group, let the club vote on new members.

Size: Keep the group small enough to stay focused on your purpose: helping each other with your problems. Groups larger than ten or so will have a tendency to veer off course. And although a group as small as two can technically qualify as a club, the point is to benefit from various perspectives and opinions. Aim for about four to eight members.

Location: Not every kid is lucky enough to have a roomy, comfy tree house in the back yard, but you don’t really need one. All you need is a quiet, private place, like your bedroom, basement or backyard deck. Other options include the shade of a nearby oak tree, or maybe a designated spot in a park. Just make sure your parents know where you are and that you can count on a half-hour or so of uninterrupted meeting time.

Meetings: Pick a convenient meeting time and schedule thirty to sixty minutes for weekly meetings. A Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon might work well, especially during the school year.

Topics: Follow the Right-Unders’ lead in letting members take turns sharing a problem, with the other members, then writing down anonymous solutions. Discuss the solutions one at a time. What are their advantages? What are their drawbacks? Are they practical, doable, reasonable and safe? Do the solutions help solve a problem without impinging on others’ rights or feelings? Would your parents approve? Use these guidelines to help determine which solution is best. Challenge the Right-Under with the problem to follow your advice, then to report back at a future meeting and discuss whether the solution helped solve a problem. Then … on to the next problem!

Format: If you can’t decide on the order in which members share their problems, go alphabetically by last name. But be flexible. Problems might arise that need immediate attention. And above all: Be supportive. No teasing, gossiping, snickering, judging or snubbing. Helping people solve their problems is a big responsibility. Take it seriously, and make sure your club offers a safe haven where people can share their fears, worries and concerns without repercussions.

Adult Intervention: If a problem is serious enough to require adult help, discuss that as a group. Try to reach an agreement about whether to seek outside help, but if you sense that a problem is too big for a member to handle individually, trust your instinct and tell your mom or another trusted adult. It’s important to respect other people’s privacy, but even more important to get help if an emergency arises. Discuss this ground rule at the first meeting so no one can be accused of ratting a member out. Your goal is to help each other. Right-Unders are smart and mature enough to know when a grown-up perspective is vital.

Feedback: I’d love to know how your Right-Under Club turns out. Click here to send me an e-mail. And don’t forget the Right-Under motto:

We R There 4 U!

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